REMEMBERING BARON TANCRED OF RISING WATERS

He was never still, always running hither and thither and yon.  He made sure that all was going well in the kitchen, creating works of art, the wood sliding through his hands like butter as he shaped it.  He wore the cornet and with the same ease as he would wear a baseball cap.  He gave great hugs - oh yes, I will always remember that about him! - he did indeed give great hugs!

And the last time I saw him was at this last 12th Night, where I greeted him in Russian (it was a Slavic event, after all), and saw, perhaps for the first time, Tancred going silent and mystified.   Sigh - that was a sight to behold indeed, good gentles!

He also was sitting down.  And that mystified and disturbed me.

Upon hearing of his passing, an incredible vision filled my mind - Baroness Fiona, Baroness Elena, King Osis, King Sarnak (sp?) and all the good and great gentles that have passed on before him gathering to greet another son coming into The Great Hall!  I know Valhalla was in envy to see the feasting and rejoicing that occurred at that moment.  Of course, Valhalla had a place for him too - they just had to wait their turn in honouring this warrior!!

I will miss you deeply, Your Excellency! I will miss you deeply, but I will never, ever forget you!

MUSINGS ON EARTH DAY AND GOOD FRIDAY

WARNING:  CONTAINS STRONG FEELINGS AND OPINIONS

This will not be a popular Blog for people to read.  It's something that has been bothering me for a long time, and is finally coming to a head.  Today, Earth Day and Good Friday rolled into one, it's tearing me apart with all sorts of conflicting emotions that I must express.  So here it it:

Men, you screwed it up royally!  You have had control over the Earth's dealings, comings and goings for millennia, and all that you're doing is messing things up more and more on a daily basis.  

Let's go back to the beginning for a moment - in the beginning, when humanity was gaining foothold on this world, there was only Goddess.  Only The Mother!  All historical and archaeological evidence points to that fact.  The balance was contained in the Sacred Feminine because She held the male and female within Herself.  It was simple, natural and good.  Women learned and then taught others about agriculture, weaving, and the built societies.  Their Moon Blood was considered sacred, for it was the tangible connection to The Mother from whom all came.

And then, some man realized that there had to be a God - and with that notion came wars, conflicts, subjugation of women, and power over.  Men had to claim their "rightful place" in this world.  If women bled in peace, then men would bleed in conflict and through sacrifice.  And women were deemed evil.  The male sky gods were given the power to create and birth only as a woman and the Goddess can, this claiming supremacy over all.  The Goddesses themselves began to suffer, declare their place under the rules of the Gods.  No wonder women bought into this lie!  

So even in today's world it's still a man's world, because somehow women bought into the fact that they are somehow less important then men.  Earth Day, celebrated today, is supposed to be truly Mother's Day - The Mother who is continually plundered, raped, and made subject to man's will.  Man-made disasters and natural ones, which in most cases can be traced to disrespect and misuse of the resources we were given, are all around us.  Most CEO's of the big corporations that are responsible for this are men.  The religious organizations are run by men.  Most countries are run by men.  Most domestic abuse is inflicted by men upon women.  

So again I say, men, you screwed it up!!  

On this Good Friday, when one Man tried to make it better, all His teachings have been misconstrued and made into Manpower over the destinies and lives of others.  You've screwed it up again.

Maybe it's time for us women to take over.  Maybe it's time to bring back The Mother, the Supreme Creatrix and have Her teach us what we have forgotten.  No, not maybe.  For me it's the definite.  The balance is in Her hands only.  

Persephone  will NOT be raped any longer!

Hera will NOT be suffering the infidelities of Her consort!

Innana will NOT be left to moulder in the Underworld forever!

And The Mother WILL be honoured and listened to!

 

Earth Day

I woke up with many conflicting emotions this morning that I am still trying to sort out - anger, confusion, sorrow - as I look around this Earth day and see that there is little to be Happy about. Forgive me this descent. Be sure, like Innana, I will arise again out of this with renewed strength.

HOW THINGS CHANGE!

On Wednesday, April 6th, my life changed forever.  


It is funny how it's the little things that make this happen, little things, like having a something delivered, which now becomes part of one's life.


For over two years now, my father kept promising me the gift of a baby grand piano he had at his house.  For one reason or another, the timing was never quite right for this.  To begin with, I was living in an apartment where it would absolutely not fit in, and once I moved into my new apartment, it took some time to arrange a mover.


Well, all that was put into motion last Wednesday.  Right in the middle of one of the worse cases of bronchitis I have ever experienced, and some 6 hours after the original delivery time, it arrived.  The entire energy of this place changed and now some days after the event, I am still trying to figure out how to 'fung shway' the place!  Along with the piano I also inherited a beautiful carpet and two boxes of what my dad called, "pretty dishes" - some lovely tea cups.


At first I put it to me being sick and being slightly stressed by this new acquisition, but as time went on, I had to admit to one strong emotion - sadness.  Absolute, overwhelming sadness, almost to the point of tears.  I could barely stand to look at this beautiful instrument, let alone play it.  


I realized the following morning what caused me to feel this way - with the moving of the piano, my dad had shut another piece of his life away.  Although he didn't say anything to make me feel this, I knew that this was indeed the case.  In a couple of months another phase will begin and end - he will be moving out of his own home into an apartment.  And yet again his world will get a little bit smaller.  


He loved this piano.  He spent hours composing music at that keyboard, right up until the last moment.  I feel his presence there every time I touch the keys, and feel as though I have ripped something very precious away from him, even though he's been after me to have the instrument moved for over two years.  


I have since made it a point of playing every day.  I have started my scales and exercises, learning how to read music again, and always with the lingering feeling of my dad there.  I hear his voice in my head correcting my hand position or encouraging me to try that difficult passage again.  


And I hope I will never lose that connection.


My greatest wish right now is to learn and perform two of his original piano compositions for him.  I can't think of a better way of thanking him for this incredible gift!


But first, I need to have it properly tuned up.  It's in such bad shape, it's making my teeth hurt to play it for any great length of time.  

PAGAN/CHRISTIAN

Yesterday, there was a discussion on FaceBook I participated in briefly.  It had to do with how one could be a Pagan and yet love Jesus at the same time. I promised to revisit this subject after giving it more thought, and this is what my response was:

Good morning - as promised yesterday, here is my response to yesterday's discussion.  I have just spent over an hour trying to write what I so clearly see within myself on this, but it's not coming easily.  So, I'm just going to keep it simple here:
  
If you take only what is attributed to Jesus, His words (especially the Sermon on the Mount and the Beatitudes), His interaction with His disciples and in particular his interaction with the women around Him, you have a picture of someone who is indeed very easy to love and follow.  

The problem comes in when men (yes, specifically "men", because women were not allowed any voice in the matter) decided after the fact to make this a religion that is controlled by men, and interpreted the scriptures to suit their needs.  The Church born out of this has determined the course of history right up to the present day.  Let's for the moment set this aside and go back to the simple beautiful message of Jesus Himself, and you will see that the Church bears little resemblence to what He was trying to say.


He honoured women - the Church put them into a such a subserive position, women are still trying to climb out of that hole.
He honoured peacemakers - and the Church has been slaughtering in His name to prove that point ever since.
He honoured a simple and direct relationship with the Divine - and the Church has in its quest for absolute power, put so many layers between a human heart and that Divine so as to cloud and obscure everything but its own control over the masses.

Jesus said, "...on Earth as it is in Heaven".  Pagans say, "As above so below".
Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is within you".  Pagans say, "Thou art God, Thou art Goddess".
Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers".  Pagans say, "Harm none".


Same things said in almost the same way.


So by you saying you are a Pagan and love Jesus should not present any contradiction, if by being a "Pagan", you honour peace, acknowledge the Sacred Feminine, and do not need an intermediary between you and the Divine.


If you strip away the layers of what Man put there, you will find a simple, beautiful truth that resounds the same message among all religions of the world for all people, regardless of what religion or spiritual path you may walk.  


I hope, my Lord, this serves to set your heart and mind at ease." 

LAST WEEKEND IN REVIEW

It was a busy week, followed by an even busier weekend.  In fact, I feel coming back to work actully is giving me a rest!

Since I recently moved, I had decided that a Housewarming party was in order.  This was combined with an Equanox/Ostara Ritual .  In attendance were about a half-dozen guests, who enjoyed a pasta dinner I cooked up, a variety of salads, and of course, mounds of chocolates of every kind and description.   The Ritual was one giving homage to that delectable confection, and was abundantly enjoyed by all, especially when we began devouring the Sacrificial Bunny.

Entertainment consisted of a beautiful one-woman play, relating the story of a Japanese Goddess Amaterasu.  Thank you, Starr, for this unforgetable performance!

Eventually, all but Starr, left, and the two of us continued talking into the wee hours of the morning.  This is highly unusual, for I go to bed promptly at 9:00 pm each night, but because we do not get to see each other very often, it was well worth the time.  After a few hours of sleep, we kept up the stream of conversation which has left me fully inspired, as always, with the vision of new and shining projects to persue.  Once Starr was on her way, I sort of collapsed, but with yet another upcoming event planned for Sunday, I eventually organized everything for it.

On Sunday, there was a wedding I had to officiate.  The last details of preparation became a ritual in themselves, my movements slow and contemplative, while I now focused all my attention to the upcoming ceremony.  The venue was a beautiful secluded outdoor location, a lookout overlooking a gorge and waterfalls, surrounded by trees and elements.  I got to the site ahead of the wedding party, and was there to greet them when they all came up the hill.

It was a bit windy, up here on the hill, which proved a bit problematic when it came time to light the sage for smudging.  I thought I was well prepared, but both the lighters refused to work, even though they were lighting just fine inside.  Finally, we managed to light the sage, and the wedding went on.  Beautifully unfolding, like the petals of a flower, each stage progressed.  Joy, laughter, tears - well, of course!  Gifts, blessings, congratulatory hugs all around ... and before we knew it, the young couple were married!

Rituals and ceremonies like this tend to either take a lot of energy out of me, or energize me completely. In this case, I felt drained and empty inside, but in a very pleasant way.  I feel the need at such times to be alone, to contemplate what has just happened, and to ground myself with gentle pampering.  Leftover chocolate was great for this, as was a good book.

And of course, there was the glorious, gorgeous Super Moon overflowing with silver blessings on Saturday night.  I spent quite a bit of time on the balcony watching Her rise in the east, prayed and meditated in Her energies, and when I went to bed, I found it to be totally bathed in Her light!  I didn't want to fall asleep and indeed succeeded in seeing Her travel across the clear dark sky for a while, before sleep actually swept over me.  Wow!  How powerful and beautiful that was!!

All in all, it was an amazing weekend that I really enjoyed.  And now, it's back to the realities of work and the chores of daily living. 

Blessed be!!

 

THE BEAUTY OF DARKNESS

Many people fear the dark.  There's an instinctive heightening of awareness, however brief, once the lights are turned out.  Darkness is seen as evil, bad, nasty, and negative. 

 

Or is it?

 

"Walk in the Light", "Invoke the White Light", "Healing Light", "Positive Energies" are all used and sent daily by many.  Because, as everyone knows, Light is good, positive, beneficial and straight from God.

 

And again, is it really?

 

My view of the Darkness changed a number of years ago.  It was around 2003, and the world was experiencing a lunar eclipse.  I decided to enter this realm of darkness through ritual and explore it while our Lady Moon was hidden within the shroud of mystery.

 

As I lived in a loft at that time, it was very dark there indeed. To symbolize the growing darkness, I sat down in the middle of the room, blindfolded myself and drew a black hood over my head.  Thus deprived of sight and light, I entered into a deep meditative state to ride the Moon into darkness.

 

Within minutes I felt as though I was riding a current through a void.  Gradually the current was made manifest beneath me as a gentle silver path. As I made it out, other such silver paths appeared on either side of me, above and below me, as far as the eye could see!  And each path was alive - alive! - with every possible, conceivable answer to every possible, conceivable question.  Like darting fireflies, these "energies" would grow dense in some parts and thin out as they vanished elsewhere to become manifest in another reality. 

 

Darkness was alive, brimming with its own life, full of purpose and simply waiting to be tapped into!  And it was not "dark" as we think dark is - blackness without relief - but illuminated with it's own spirit.

 

It was the most intense, powerful and beautiful ride I have ever experienced!  To me now, darkness is the holder of all answers, and is something that is not to be feared or avoided.  A couple of years later, another step was taken into the exploration of the Dark - I was led to explore the attributes of the Dark Goddesses during the Dark of Moon time of the month.

 

All that year I laboured with this new venture.  Each month I would research and align myself with a Goddess, and culminate the month with a ritual during Dark of Moon.  Hekate, Pandora, Hel, Nemises, Carridwin, Morgane, Sedna, Baba Yaga and the Dark Madonna were among the Goddesses that I worked with.  The Crone, the Aged Wise One began to reveal Herself to me and I began to pay more attention to the time of the waning to New Moon. 

 

Each Goddess taught me different things.  Each month I was initiated in deeper mysteries.  I learned to see the Dark Moon as a time of healing, of rest and of peace.  Just like our day is divided into light and dark, day and night, so the bigger circle of the month takes us from light to dark and to light again. 

 

Some time in there it occurred to me that there was a problem with people who see the world and life only in terms of "white and black".  I visualized the world all in that way and saw something stark and glaring, with no definition or perspective.  Where there were shadows, they appeared as pools of utter black that swallowed up everything that touched them.  White was so blinding that it washed everything out in its glare.

 

Now, I began to put in shades of gray, and suddenly the world sprang into aliveness.  Shadows became infinate in their hues of gray.  White began to have details, darkness was less ultimate. There are now places of rest as well as high energy.  There is balance.

In my travels into the Dark, I only found blessings, peace and rest.  The old attitudes died a natural death and new ideas were born.  Balance took on a new meaning.

And I was no longer afraid.