Yesterday, I saw a picture posted on the Home page that really upset me. Everyone else thought it was funny, and it got shared and more people laughed at it, but all I could do was shudder every time it went by. I want to now explain why I felt the way I did.
It was a photo of a tee-shirt which read, "DADD: Dads Against Daughters Dating. Shoot the first one and the word will spread".
I find it hard to imagine what is so funny about this. It immediately speaks of harsh control, instant judgement, and patriarchy. It hides the young women behind high walls, while teaching the young men that none are good enough. It implies that developing healthy relationships between young men and women is wrong. That SEX is wrong.
So why do I feel so strongly about this? Quite simply, because I was married to a man who thought like this, not in jest, but in an unwavering conviction. When my daughters were but six or seven years old, he was already warning them that boys were bad, and they were to stay away from them. By the time they were ten, he was talking in terms of them being sluts - yes, SLUTS!! - if they were seen speaking with neighbourhood boys, children with whom they went to school with and played with for years. By the time the twins were 14, one of them tried to commit suicide because she could not tolerate the pressures that were put on her by her own father!
In the Middle East this ideology reigns supreme - women hidden behind veils, not able to speak or have a voice, where marriages are arranged, marital rape and abuse not only tolerated but endorsed. Yes, perhaps I'm reading too much into this "innocent" statement, but I've seen too much of this attitude in real life.
What makes men think they can continue to perpetuate this kind of thinking? What makes women think they need to tolerate it? It hasn't worked up until now, what makes you think it will ever work?
It is an outrage and an offense to me. No, indeed, I see nothing to even smile about in reading such a statement.
No comments:
Post a Comment