My past is a part of me - right from my birth, I experience events, small and large, that shapes me, and molds me and define me and then redefine me. My life is a constant evolution. Sometimes, it changes in a matter of a split-second, and at other times it is a slow, gradual process, a dawning of realization that overtakes and overwhelms me.
Within me resides the small child that used to dance, cry from scraped knees and curl up on my father's knees as he read me stories. Within me resides the Maiden, newly blossomed into Moon cycles, exploring the joys of make-up and wondering at the changes going on in body, emotions and thoughts. I carry within me The Mother, giving birth to five children, then realizing the need to change again to meet each individual child's needs. It's like I had to be on many different levels at once!
And now, another transition that I am undergoing - going fully into Cronehood, shedding, letting go, holding close, opening up, closing down, keeping up, tearing down! And at the same time, knowing that what I was I still am, what I experienced is still with me. The memories are vivid, internal photographs and videos, of good times, bad times, every day events and monumental insights that flooded my being - all are here, within me.
What I have just written is nothing new - everyone experiences this in one way or another. But it happened to me, and therefore was seen, absorbed and assimilated in a unique way. Because it happens to everyone, these changes also bind me to others. Because its intensely personal creates barriers.
My journals have taken on a greater meaning of importance to me this morning, showing me that what I was and what I am and what I will be. Life didn't work out the way I had planned, but it worked out the way it was supposed to.
And now, I am standing on the brink of new experiences and a new life unfolding before me, and I once again feel brand new, like a Phoenix reborn, like Maiden again...
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